At the end of the day do you find yourself feeling like you did not do enough? Do you feel guilty because there was stuff you had intended to do that you did not get to? How often do you take the time to celebrate and acknowledge yourself for all the things you accomplished in a day? I am going to say that you do not do it often maybe even ever. I have found many people especially those I work with are very hard on themselves and feel like they never do enough. This is an illusion that stems from the belief system that you are not good enough. You do so many things and try to accomplish so much as a way to get your worth and value.
When you are not doing a lot you feel worthless. I know people who rarely have a moment to sit and relax before they are on to the next thing. The idea of relaxing and not keeping busy seems scary to them because they would feel lazy, unproductive, and worthless. It is counterproductive keep yourself busy and not take the time to appreciate all the things you do.
If you catch your mind telling you that you have to do this and you did not get enough done for the day stop it. Say "thank you for sharing but actually I am really proud of everything I accomplished today". An exercise I give my clients that teaches them to celebrate and acknowledge what they have done for the day is the Celebrate List. At the end of the day they write a list of the things they accomplished.
Some clients resist doing this exercise in the beginning of coaching. They do not feel like they deserve to celebrate and acknowledge themselves. In their minds they feel like underachievers. When they do start doing the exercise the benefits are immediate. They feel great and are shocked to discover how much they do and how they were downplaying their productivity and accomplishments. I celebrate the littlest easiest things along with the biggest things that I have accomplished.
I do not put value you on what I do and I instruct my clients to do the same. Making my bed or running five miles are both equally an accomplishment and one is not better than the other. This exercise is important for you to do for two reasons. Reason number one is that you get to see how much you do every day and appreciate all your hard work. The second reason is that you change the way you view yourself and you feel good enough and worthy.
You start to feel peaceful and grateful at the end of your day instead of guilty and not good enough. Your assignment this week: Every night before you go to bed make a list of five things you accomplished that day. Really soak in what you accomplished, give yourself a pat on the back.
Remember do not discriminate what you chose to write on your list. Do not focus on only putting the big accomplishments on your list. Acknowledge something as easy as taking a shower. It may be useful for you to keep a notebook with a pen near your bed so you do not forget to do this exercise. Copyright (c) 2008 Melisa Milonas LLC.
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